Unremarkable: The Gift of Social Identity

From the archives: Feb. 2015

Identity Development Theory

Identity development theory was the central focus of my first child and adolescent psychology course in 1995. That introduction framed identity as an evolving process—one in which children and adolescents naturally progress through developmental stages as part of life’s broader cycle. Erikson (1980) describes ego identity as fluid, continuously reshaped as individuals encounter new experiences, including interactions with people of different races, religions, genders, and worldviews.

Across Erikson’s stages, identity development significantly influences how individuals understand their own role in society and how they perceive others. While this concept overlaps with Tatum’s (1997) work on racial identity development, I do not view the two theories as parallel. Erikson positions identity development as a largely natural process, with environmental factors influencing its pace and outcome. Tatum’s stages, however, depend more heavily on conscious awareness, reflection, and acceptance—particularly as they relate to social identity.

In this sense, identity may be rooted in nature and shaped by experience, but social identity is ultimately constrained or expanded by how individuals interpret, internalize, and engage with the world around them.

Personal Development

Beverly Tatum (1997) outlines six stages of racial identity development for White individuals, a category assigned to me by genetics. Applying her framework, I find myself struggling to locate a precise position on her continuum. On the surface, I see a Caucasian woman in her late thirties with unremarkable features—blue eyes, light hair, and a body shaped by time and experience. While these characteristics contribute to my identity, they do not define who I am.

Consistent with Erikson’s (1980) theory, my identity has been shaped through lived experience. In alignment with Tatum (1997), my understanding of difference has evolved through interpretation, reflection, and interaction. I did not choose my race or gender. I was raised in a business-oriented family led by strong women who ran a real estate company with discipline and authority. My grandmother openly applied stereotypes to others—something I accepted as normal until I developed the ability to distinguish her judgments from my own.

As a young girl, this shift aligns with Tatum’s pre-encounter and disintegration stages. In high school, during periods of racial tension, I positioned myself on the sidelines—not out of indifference, but because I could not subscribe to the anger of either side. Many students from varied backgrounds shared this stance, forming an unspoken group of outsiders. At the time, my focus was less on social identity and more on personal survival—family challenges, relationships, and the desire to leave my small hometown. In retrospect, this period aligns with aspects of reintegration, though my withdrawal was rooted more in confusion than allegiance.

College, career changes, and travel throughout Europe further deepened my understanding of identity. In a single summer, I was labeled the immigrant, the racist American, and the “dumb blonde,” experiences that forced me into repeated moments of cultural dissonance. These encounters reflect Tatum’s stages of pseudo-independence and immersion, as my awareness of stereotyping sharpened and my understanding of allyship solidified. Exposure to overt racism, including encounters with neo-Nazi groups in the Netherlands, compelled me to find my voice and take a clear stance against intolerance.

Now, in my late thirties—mothering, teaching, and leading—I honor the journey without dwelling in division. I focus instead on teaching my children to find and use their voices, to act with intention, and to understand that acceptance carries more power than tolerance. I do not shield them from the reality of racism; rather, I guide them to view differences as complements to their own identities.

Tatum (1992) emphasizes self-reflection as essential to meaningful transformation, both internally and within the communities we influence. As a leader, I accept this responsibility with intention. As a mother, I accept it as an honor.

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References

Erikson, E. (1980). Identity and the life cycle. New York: Norton.Tatum, B.D. (1997). Why are all the Black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? New York, NY: Basic Books.Tatum, B.D. (1992). Talking about Race, Learning about Racism: 'The Application of ' Racial Identity Development Theory in the Classroom. The Harvard Review, (62)1.